If you’re thinking, oh NO she didn’t, just bear with me. This HAD to happen and you’ll read why. New tagline: Quiltunes – bravely going where few quilters have gone before.
A couple of years back, I traveled to a fancy software conference in southern California with two of my rural local government colleagues. As a former city mouse who thrived on the urban pulse, I was shocked at quickly I lost my tempo in this busy environment. The number of attendees at the conference alone was on par with the number of residents in our town. As someone who had never been to a big conference, I was thankful to have my co-worker/friend impart her wisdom on how to maximize this event. The conference was so packed and we logged 5 miles a day racing across the giant convention center from class to class trying to absorb as much knowledge as possible. It was so exhausting that there were strategically placed coffee stations set up every couple hundred feet in the convention center. Seriously. Also, we visited an aquarium!
The pinnacle of any convention, and the reward for all of that busyness, is the party at the end of the week. My friends who had attended previous conferences exclaimed that attendance at the final party was imperative. Free food! Two free drink coupons! A Journey concert! Despite aching brains after four 9-hour days of computer programming classes, we drug our tired selves down to the event center. My inner introverted curmudgeon was ready to grab a burrito from a taco truck and hightail it to the king size hotel bed, but I decided to be brave and enter the fray. I was prepared to be underwhelmed, but holy cannoli the decorations alone were jaw dropping! After scoring free vodka sodas with our coupons (apparently only good for beer and wine), we wandered around in amazement grazing on lamb burger sliders, grilled vegetable kabobs and tiramisu mini cupcakes. After some self congratulatory speeches from corporate types, at 6:00 p.m. the real PARTY started.
A full band took the stage for a night of “One Hit Wonder” acts. I am not being rude, this was how the show was proudly billed. Huge props to the band and backup singers that supported the parade of musicians who came out to perform their one or two songs. Since we were near L.A., it is easy to surmise that the backing band were actual studio musicians with an easy gig that night. And the back up singers were incredible! I love backup singers and if you do too, I highly recommend the film “20 feet from Stardom”. After perhaps five or six one-hit wonders, the band leader (a very Bruno Mars-ish fellow) started getting everyone amped up for the finale of, you guessed it, Vanilla Ice. When I say the crowd went wild, I mean THE CROWD WENT WILD! People were jumping up and down (reminder, this is a software convention) and I got doused by a neighbor’s gin and tonic. Straight up Vanilla Ice – same baggy pants and hairdo like he was teleported straight from 1990. He stuck with his 2 classics then veered off into freestyle territory and dissed (is this even a thing anymore?) a preeminent and relevant rapper. This “concert” was the most hilarious thing I have ever witnessed.
Of course once Vanilla Ice left the stage, it was a like a balloon popped and the party in the convention center deflated quickly. How do you top that? After the spectacle, my friend and I went to a 7:00 p.m. after party where everyone was jealous of the concert and peppered us with questions about the triumphant return of Vanilla Ice. I had no idea that V.I. could cause such passionate commotion. I let the envious people know that they also missed mini lamb burgers and a bartender who disobeyed the coupon policy. Well, WALDT.
This mini quilt is for my fellow concert mate, who not only got me through those all of those hard classes at the convention but also helped me turn the crazy ideas I conceived of during those lessons into reality. It was hard for me to leave a job I enjoyed, but with her unbelievable help, I left some programs behind that make my successor’s life a little bit easier and more organized. This thank you quilt is quite petite clocking in at only 8″ wide by 15″ tall. I used leftover scrap turquoise grunge for the background and then sewed up a bunch of scrap strips for the inserts. After I finished the piece, I was stunned to see that the colors in the quilt are so similar to those we saw at the aquarium and on the various alley murals around town. How serendipitous is that! To add a bit more texture to the quilt, I hand quilted vertical meandering lines using a light blue Perle cotton. And yes, that is a marijuana print on the back. It’s the number one selling fabric line in Colorado!
You are probably thinking: is “Ice Ice Baby” just the name of the quilt or did that goofy woman actually sew to this song? For the sake of artistic integrity, yes I did listen to Vanilla Ice, two songs in fact and then I developed a twitch that made me nervous to use a rotary cutter, so I switched over to Jason Isbell. I crave music like food and I was in the mood for some Isbell. He is an outstanding guitarist and masterful songwriter formerly of the Drive By Truckers and now performing solo and with the band The 400 Unit. The song “Cumberland Gap” off of “The Nashville Sound” album is absolutely phenomenal — like roll the windows down and jam out, then hit repeat on the player awesome. I love Jason’s work; he is one of the best.
As I write this post, I realize the reason I am nostalgic about a three song Vanilla Ice set is that it is so in the past, the pre-pandemic past. Everything from a crowded convention with attendees from all over the world, to people passing around trays of food you pick up with bare hands, to rapping nonsensical lyrics in a mask less crowd are all life and death dangerous now. How quickly we’ve pivoted to a new reality. At some point in the distant future, perhaps we will wax nostalgic for this time we’re in now, the slower pace, the sweatpants and all of the time at home. In the words of Vanilla Ice, “Will it ever stop? Yo, I don’t know.” I’ll leave it at that. Sincere apologies if you now have a song in your head. And please, please stay safe.
Music nerd post-script: it looks like Vanilla Ice is now giving songwriting credit to Bowie and Queen for poaching “Under Pressure”. Good to know.
Albums/songs listened to: Vanilla Ice “Ice Ice Baby”, “Play that Funky Music”; Jason Isbell and the 400 Unit “The Nashville Sound”; Jason Isbell “Southeastern”; Drive By Truckers “Decoration Day”.
Quiltunes 